Thursday, February 5, 2009

Flames vs. Oilers 2009 quarterfinals

Game 1: The Calgary Flames, your Northwest division winners, host the Edmonton Oilers in a playoff series for the first time in about 2 decades and the excitement level is off the hook. So much so that the Flames are too worried about making an impression that the Oilers squeak out a 3-2 after Sheldon Souray scores a late third period PP winner.

Game 2: After Mike Keenan scares the living bejesus out of the Calgary Flames and threatens to send Mikka Kiprusoff to Atlanta in the offseason, the tender shuts the door and Jarome Iginla takes over the game and the Flames roll 4-1.

Game 3: This will be the first playoff game in Edmonton since game 6 of the 2006 Stanley Cup finals. The electricity inside Rexall Place will be palpable. We might even have a Darryl Katz sighting! The Oilers will come out absolutely flying with Ales Hemsky leading the way with 2 goals and 1 assist and Dion Phaneuf launches himself face first into the boards, injuring himself, trying to kill Kyle Brodziak after Phaneuf thinks he hears him mutter something to do with sloppy seconds.

Game 4: The Oilers and Flames carry a hotly contested game into the third period tied 2 goals apiece when Todd Bertuzzi takes a roughing penalty at 1:40 left after the image of Steve Moore’s lawyer’s face suddenly seems to look a lot like Steve Staios. Unfortunately for the Oilers their coach happens to be Craig MacTavish who plays a 1 forward 4 back trap system during the PP so that way they’re guaranteed to go to OT as he forgets that they won’t be getting a point and that there’s no shootout. Bertuzzi steps out of the box and gets the breakaway pass and buries it :25 seconds into overtime.

Game 5: Still stunned by the overtime loss and perplexed at MacT’s postgame rant about how the loss was all Robbie Shremp’s fault the Oilers crawl out of the gate and the moral boost of the return of Dion Phaneuf guides the Flames to an easy 5-1 victory.

Game 6: All seems lost for the Oilers as they are completely outplayed by the Flames through 60 minutes but Dewayne Roloson plays out of this world and keeps the game at 0-0 till late in the 3rd period when MacT’s trusty 4th line grinders come through in the last minute and obvious hero Zack Stortini scores the winner with less then 30 seconds to go.

Game 7: I’ve come up with two alternate endings to this story just like any good modern day DVD, and as a promising member of the Canadian hockey media I must uphold the great tradition of fence sitting and not choose a decisive winner. In version one Jarome Iginla destroys the Oilers with a hat trick and Kiprusoff completely shuts them down for the series win. In version two, the hockey gods great senses of humor, irony and evening things out as Robyn Regehr’s ill-advised outlet pass from behind the net ends up bouncing off Mikka Kiprusoff’s skate and in as the Oilers celebrate their series win in the Saddledome.

Anyway that’s how I see an Oilers/Calgary playoff series going in my imagination.

1 comment:

  1. I gotta say, this is a really great article! No matter how much I wish the Oilers could pull it off I have the feeling Calgary would destroy us in 5, but your way sounds a hell of a lot more exciting